Often I wonder why I, despite all the free time I have to laze around, just pace out and drift away to Imaginary Land when I am already a few hours away from an exam or a school project's deadline. Yes, it's basically procrastination and I hate it effing super! I feel like I'm the most disorganized person in the world and it's pathetic because I seem to be getting worse each day. Noooo...
Prior to this blog, I contemplated really hard. I asked myself, okay, how did I become this...lazy? Stupid question (I know), but it was a start. And then it hit me. I remembered, just last year, I worked my butt off in making sure that I pass those 4 post grad subjects. I did pass but, oh boy, I must have burnt out...I'm not a genius so I have to put in extra effort to cope up with my lessons (I master in Math by the way --- which I now kind of regret).
I don't know, maybe I'm just making up an excuse so I can't study today, but I'm just... too tired to even open up this book I have beside me. It innocently says Matrix Analysis on its cover but actually, everything inside is written in hieroglyphs. No, I don't want to study yet but exam's already tomorrow.... I'm doomed.
But....after slapping my face hard enough for me to shout "Ow!" a while ago, I have challenged myself to put myself together (does that even make sense) and study like I am supposed to. I will eat you raw you stupid book and spit you out on tomorrow's exam.
Hopefully I can manage to pass all of my subjects this semester, although I definitely do not deserve it. I don't care if my grades will all be like "Meh!!!-You-can-do-better-than-this" as long as they're all acceptable! I just want to get through all this pressure.
Okaaay. So it's time to...1) Click Publish, and 2) Turn off my laptop (so I can't read beauty blogs or watch youtube). Oh good Lord, bless me.
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