Joy Comes in the Morning

Chopin...Rachmaninoff...Beethoven... for hours I immersed myself in their music. Like a new found haven, I let my soul be engulfed in this abundance of melodies which were put together and harmonized by the geniuses of their time. Symphony after symphony, my ears gathered every note and brought each dearly to this heart. In there was the conglomeration of the music I listened to and the emotions that I carried for the week. Tears fell profusely when the music and my feelings became indistinguishable. It was all too much...like a flood, bittersweet memories came and swept over me, drowning me. And just when I was about to suffocate, I found myself by his side...this recollection brought me to an old and familiar feeling which is at present utterly insignificant. Consequently, the wall I've put up for four months melted in this continuous surge of carefully composed pieces. All the while I thought my defenses were formidable. I was wrong. So this is breaking down... I thought this would never come, but it did. Lamentation. Indifference could no longer mask this unbearable sorrow of missing someone dear to me. I'm grieving over the death of a beautiful relationship. I could have done this four months ago, I should have...but I braved myself not to. But beyond this prodding pain is the acceptance of things that passed and ended...of things that can never be again. More importantly, a realization came: Joy comes in the morning. This is just a phase. This, too, shall pass. As much as I miss him, I know he is not for me. Even if he is, I'm definite that now is not the time. I hold this time now as a requiem. May the Lord bless me the much needed rest I've been asking for. I'm letting you go. May my God grant you peace and happiness, too.